One of the more beautiful, but elusive truths that I’ve finally discovered is that our life’s dream does not have to be defined by some career, relationship, income, or attainment of possessions. It doesn’t have to be about accomplishing or conquering or winning anything. In fact, if we dig deep enough, we’ll find that all of those dreams and goals are driven by underlying pure and powerful feelings.
For many, it’s the pursuit of a combination of a handful of core feelings that drives our very being. For me, it’s happiness and love. Since I was young, I’ve been authentically and unapologetically happy (even abnormally, some would say, despite my disability) and I’ve always yearned for intimate human connection. I don’t do too well at faking emotions, so this smile you see is the real deal and coming straight from an open heart.
As I reflect on my life, I realize I’ve spent a significant amount of time trying to accomplish and obtain things that I believed would guarantee that I would feel happy and loved. Those things would often work temporarily, but, after plenty of disappointment, it eventually became clear that happiness and love were not dependent on some outside factor, but created within me. This is a truth we know as children, but forget along the way.
The honest reality, I found, was that no person could make me feel loved, as badly as I may have wanted them to. This was not my favorite lesson in life to learn. Our “loved ones” are supposed to love us exactly how we need, right?! Sadly, wrong. I’ve come to learn that truly loving myself was the only way to bring lasting, unconditional love into my life. And let’s face it, we’re not really taught by society to love ourselves, especially women, so that can be an uphill battle for many of us. Plus, if loving ourselves is this hard at times, it’s not really fair to fault those around us for not being perfect at it.
The same goes for happiness. No job, or piece of technology or compliment can create real happiness in my heart - or anyone else’s. I’ve had to face that my happiness was also independent of that of my spouse’s, child’s, parent’s or other loved ones. This is equally difficult for me to remember as an empath who is very sensitive to the emotions of others, and it seems more intense the more I care for someone. Sometimes it feels impossible for me to ignore and maintain my own balance if someone I love is down, even when there’s nothing I can do about it.
But, again, my own happiness can only come from my own ability to stay in a mindset of gratitude, optimism and eagerness to live the life I’ve been given, in any given moment. Even when the circumstances don’t seem ideal. Even when those closest to us aren’t filling a role that we think we need. And when I drift from that happy place that only I can create, only I have the key to get back in.
So, if we can become clear on what we're really after in this life - in this case, happiness and love - we can do better at appreciating the moments we're experiencing those feelings, instead of paying attention to the distractions and what we haven't accomplished.
I LOVE ALL THAT I AM AND IT RADIATES FROM MY BEING.
I CREATE MY OWN HAPPINESS.
LOVE AND HAPPINESS ARE ABUNDANT IN THIS UNIVERSE AND ALWAYS AVAILABLE TO ME WHEN I CHOOSE THEM.
My heart needed to share these words today, so I hope they find connection in you!
Young Living Essential Oil suggestion: Joy - an uplifting floral blend that’s great for diffusing and adding to lotions for a sweet, happy aroma. Shop here or become a member: www.myyl.com/kristinarhoades